My Way To You
by goodmorningjohn
Summary: When Clara is precariously thrown back into the life of the man who has forgotten her, she is left with some hard choices to make. An adventure ensues. (Also known as a hopeful attempt at capturing the amazing dynamic between Twelve and Clara.)
1. Half The World Away

**Author's Note: This is set after the events of _Hell Bent_ , assuming Clara has been travelling with Ashildr for a few months. WARNING for very brief non-consensual touching. Nothing graphic at all, just wanna be safe. **

_So here I go, I'm still scratching around in the same old hole_  
 _My body feels young but my mind is very old_  
 _So what do you say?_  
 _You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway_  
 _Half the world away, half the world away_

 _\- "_ _ **Half The World Away", Oasis**_

Her problem was that she couldn't break old habits.

Common sense? Fine. Level headed? Great. And lord knows she had perspective down to an art. You couldn't lose as many people as she had and not have perspective. But learning from her mistakes?

Clara winced as a blaster shot narrowly missed her head, crashing into the wall in front of her.

If she was capable of that, she'd be in a cafe somewhere enjoying a good book.

 _Scratch that,_ she thought. If she had learned from her mistakes she'd be dead. Well, deader than she already was.

Putting on some speed, she ducked around the corner and hauled ass down the alley. The guards behind her were awful shots, and thankfully a bit heavier than the petite 29 year old. She still wouldn't put it past them to get a lucky hit. Towards the end of the alley she spotted a crevice holding two large dumpsters. She quickly skid in between the two and crouched down, praying she wouldn't be seen as the two guards behind her turned the corner. She could hear the pig-like men swearing in their rough tongue, then clunk past her. She exhaled.

All of this had been a huge mistake. She had just wanted to see a nice planet, partially to shut Ashildr up about the constant danger they seemed to be in, but mostly because she was, in truth, exhausted. It was odd to think that her heart that couldn't beat, her lungs that didn't need to breathe, her muscles that didn't fatigue, could be tired. But she felt like she hadn't slept in a million years, like she could shut her eyes and never open them and be okay with it.

She shook her head. She couldn't think like that. She could never be okay with it. She had made a promise that she would one day return to that place where she was to die. She had a duty, a duty to Ashildr, to the Universe, and to...him.

She didn't like thinking about him. She scrunched her eyebrows. She really didn't like thinking about him. But just like her heart and lungs, her brain was beyond her control. All too often she found herself lost in once happy memories now tinged with the sadness that she would never see that stupid face again. And he would never remember hers. That was perhaps the most bittersweet thing of all. He would never have to feel the sadness she had to muscle through every day. Yet in turn, she would never feel the solace of knowing she was missed.

A crackle from her wrist communicator startled her out of her melancholy.

 _"Clara,"_ Ashildr's panicked voice hissed from the device. _"Where are you?"_

"Oh you know," Clara whispered back, "ran into a bit of trouble with the pig guards. Hiding in a dumpster. You might not want to speak too loud. How about you?"

 _"In the gift shop,"_ her friend replied, noticeably quieter. " _You know, keeping a low profile, like we said we were going to do."_

They really had just been on Elixia for a nice trip. The small planet was the third biggest zoo in the universe and was known for housing rare creatures. And then Clara had noticed something odd. She remembered her hesitant question to Ashildr.

 _"I know I haven't been to many alien zoos, but isn't it a bit odd that every single animal we've seen has been staring at us?"_

No one else. The exhibits were huge, the animals had no reason to take any notice of the people watching them. And yet, every time she and Ashildr approached, the creature would look up and gaze directly at them, head turning to track their movements. Clara tolerated it up to the point that a 784 pound snake had reared up and stared her down, two inches from the other side of the glass.

" _Either someone made us smell like lunch, or someone is controlling the animals,"_ Ashildr had nervously stated. They had decided to split up and stake out the different areas of the zoo where someone would have broadcasting access, the first line of reasoning being that someone was sending out a telepathic field. There had been two main options- the welcome center, which housed the gift shop, and the officer command center. At the command center, Clara had quite simply chosen the wrong door to lock pick.

"These guards have been chasing me for a while. They're stupid but they're persistent."

" _That's Elexians for you. Do you know if you've lost them?"_

Out of habit, Clara held her breath and slowly peeked around the corner of the dumpster. The alley was empty as far as she could see. She would have guessed she was probably out back of some off-limits medical center.

"I think they've gone. I'm gonna see if I can find my way out of here. I'm really far at the back of the zoo."

 _"Be careful."_

"Always am."

If Clara hadn't known better, she would have thought she heard a sigh from the other end.

Slowly clambering out from her hiding place, Clara listened intently for any sign of someone else's presence. All was quiet. The place looked deserted. Keeping towards the sides of the buildings, the time traveler quickly moved through the restricted area until she spotted the electromagnetic barrier blocking the place from public access. Allowing herself a small smile, she approached the gate slowly.

The keypad that appeared to control it was composed of several symbols she didn't recognize, arranged in four rows.

 _Well,_ she thought, _could always hope they're as dull as they look and press the first four._ Reaching her hand towards the alien module, she suddenly heard a small noise behind her. She whipped around, but it was too late.

One of the fat guards pressed a small yellow device to her shoulder and she felt her entire body go slack. She tried in vain to move her limbs, her toes, anything, but to no avail. She could put up no struggle as the guard picked her up and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

The other guard gave him orders. "Take her to the center. The Garagacian Toothed Astral will be happy to see her." Both men laughed as if sharing a private joke.

The guard carrying her began to walk off, away from the gate. His heavy boots made soft thuds on the dusty ground, and his heavy breathing was the only other sound she could hear."You sure were clever, weren't you girl?" the guard rasped. Clara felt her body helplessly sway with his gait, left, right, left, right.

"But we got you in the end. We always catch 'em. It's a shame, too. I'd hate to see that Astral eat up such a pretty face as yours. Most trespassers don't look quite as...appetizing... as you." At that she felt him run a finger across her calf. She would have felt nauseated if her timelocked body could manage it. The man chuckled. "But, we gotta keep the illegal ones fed somehow."

Clara began to panic, just a little. Maybe a lot. She needed to get out, but couldn't make the slightest move to protest. If she had been able to regain control, the man would have already been on the ground clutching his nether regions. Just as the man made to continue his gloating, a voice called out from behind them.

"You, sir, are out of your depth."

The guard stopped walking and Clara's head thunked solidly into his back.

Her captor swung around. "S'cuse me?" he huffed. "Who's there?"

"I said," the voice almost patronizingly repeated,"you're out of your depth."

Clara's entire brain stopped processing. That voice. Cross. Scottish. Well, she supposed that was repeating herself.

The guard snorted. "How's that then?"

"I've had a very long day. I was talked down to by a sentient sock. I saved the tooth fairy from the dangers of an existential crisis. And I nearly had to wait in line at a DMV, but only nearly because the universe is still in tact. I try very hard to keep the universe in tact. I have a duty or something like that. Don't know who thought of that, sounds exhausting. But I do _try_ at least. To be decent, to care. To be a good man. To be merciful. But you know what?"

"What?" the guard said, struggling to keep up.

"Sometimes I have bad days."

A boom and a flash of light later, the guard toppled to the ground in a crumbling heap.

 **Thank-you for reading thus far. Reviews are appreciated.**


	2. The Whole Wide World

_"When I was a young boy, my mama said to me_

 _There's only one girl in this world for you, and she probably lives in Tahiti_

 _I'd go the whole wide world, I'd go the whole world just to find her_ _"_

 ** _-"Whole Wide World", Cage The Elephant_**

The problem with dinner parties were that they could be very, _very_ boring. Forget the Second Barmesian Minister of the Last Great Barmel Regime, if the Doctor had to hear one more "brief speech" by a man who's ear lobes were longer than his frankly ridiculous beard, he was going to eat his own spoon.

"It is with great pride that I recognize those who bravely helped restore our Institute Of Flatulence after the rather seismic eruptions last year," the minister began.

The Doctor would have quirked a smile if it weren't for the fact that he was in fact a very serious, furious person. He was a Time Lord. He was above fart jokes.

"As we all know, our energy runs on the methane found in our natural gas. Maximizing that gas is essential to our prosperity, and I daresay, our dignity. The following Barmesians have made it possible for us to continue our truly awesome bodily gas geysers. I am proud to recognize," he announced, clearing his throat. "Cors 253, Cors 443, Cors 19, Cors 99-"

"Oh I can't do this," the Doctor shouted, jumping up. A hundred overly ear-lobed heads turned to look at him. "Why don't I just introduce you all to Taco Bell and you can forget this whole thing right now!"

The minister looked astonished. "Mister Doctor, I do not understand, you are here as an esteemed guest."

The Doctor strode around the table, addressing the whole room.

"Oh yes, I'm full of hot air, forgive the phrase, but there is something about your little get-together tonight that I cannot pass up." He spun around quickly, looking for the face in the crowd he knew would be watching him with contempt rather than mortification. _There._

"That woman," he said, pointing a long finger at the lady sitting a few tables away from the minister's stage. She had long hair and almost translucent skin, her lip curled in a snarl.

"Your entire speech, all of your speeches, didn't you notice? She hasn't looked up at you once. I mean, I could hardly blame someone stabbing their eyes out during your droning, let alone day dreaming, but," the Doctor paused, jumping up on the stage, "she hasn't been lost in thought. She's been staring at this."

The time traveler gestured to the intricate key hanging on a chord around the minister's neck. The ruler looked taken aback.

"Sir, I fail to see how this is at all relevant-"

"She's a poacher," the Doctor announced, loud enough for the whole room to hear but staring only at the minister. "She's a member of the most wanted gang of poachers in the Universe, the Venandi. And that, I'm guessing," the Doctor poked the shorter man's chest, "is the key to your personal pet. Your rather _expensive_ _pet."_

The minister finally had the sense to look horrified. "My Reaper," he murmured.

"Yeah. That." The Doctor spun around and leapt off the stage. The woman stood up.

"You're only delaying the inevitable Doctor. You think you can keep chasing us around the Universe forever?"

The Doctor gave an almost comical scoff. "Yeah. Tardis."

"Yes, well. In that case, you better go find it." She began to fiddle with something on her wrist. Before he could do anything to stop her, she held up a hand bearing a Vortex Manipulator and gave him a wave. "Bye."

In a blink she was gone. There was an audible gasp and then silence. The Doctor remained still for a moment.

"WAIT! Just shut up! Everybody shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" he yelled, in spite of the fact that no one was talking. He ran out of the banquet hall.

"Mister Doctor!" the Minister yelled after him. "Where are you going! Where did she go!"

The frantic time traveler didn't bother turning around but instead yelled something back about tracking time signatures and needing a better audience.

The Last Great Barmel Regime never did hold another celebratory banquet.

* * *

The girl had ran to Elixia, that much he knew. It was the second largest zoo planet, definitely held another Time Reaper, made sense. The reading on the signature, however, was too muddled to pinpoint her exact coordinate in time-space. Frustrated, the Doctor ruffled his unruly hair. They were always just a smidge quicker than he.

Was that a proper word? Smidge?

 _Well it certainly doesn't sound proper in your voice, you daft old man._

The Doctor shook his head. The voice again. Sometimes she would seep through, in little ways. _Clara._ Whoever she was.

In every way, it was frustrating. He could only assume that if he had gone to such great lengths to erase her from his memory, that she must have meant a great deal to him. And in a way, he wanted to honor that, to mourn that. But he couldn't. He had no reason to, no detail of the shadow that was beside him the past few years. He just knew that sometimes, when he was staring off into space (sometimes literally), he found himself feeling very sad. It wasn't more complex than that, it was just sad. Like something was wrong but he hadn't the faintest idea what it was or how to fix it. Sometimes he thought if he could just allow himself to sleep; to sleep, perchance to dream, he could just...

Sighing, the Doctor straightened up and stepped out onto Elixia.

If he was very very clever, and he usually was, the poacher would be found within ten minutes, tops.

* * *

Three hours later, the Doctor was ready to break something.

"Where on this entire god-forsaken planet could this woman be" he muttered to himself, flexing his hands. He had set up sensors at every fifty-pace interval, he had scanned each security post for data on the patrons, he had even gone through the trouble of asking one guy if he had seen her. He hadn't, but the ice cream at that stand over there was lovely by the way, if you cared. The Doctor most certainly and very vocally didn't care.

Taking a lick of his ice cream cone, the time traveler began to mutter to himself.

"Okay, so she's somewhere she can't be seen or sensed. Maybe she's been vaporized? That would be something...No someone would have seen it. Perhaps...perhaps she's somewhere normal people can't get to. Stupid. Obvious."

The time lord finished the rest of his cone and made his way to the Officer Command Center.

* * *

He had been poking around for about twenty minutes when he heard the scream. When had found the source of it, he didn't like what he had seen.

A woman was immobilized, and slung over the shoulder of a handsy guard. Said guard was making threats. That was enough.

Stepping out of the shadows, the Doctor called out.

"You, sir, are out of your depth."

He began to babble while he searched for the right setting on his sunglasses. By the time the man was on the ground from the redirected energy of his own taser, the Doctor was already scanning the woman for signs of damage.

Human. Slightly scraped in some areas, but otherwise fine.

He knelt down and carefully untangled her limp body from the guard's. She was youngish he assumed, going by her lack of wrinkles. Her eyes were large, her face stuck in an expression of panic. Her clothing was a bit rumpled, but otherwise her appearance had the feel of being very well put-together.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor. I'm here to help. You're not able to move, as you've probably noticed. I'm going to bring you somewhere more safe. Sorry in advance."

With that, he did his best to hoist the girl into his arms and stand up. She really was very short, and he had little trouble. Striding up to the barrier, he opened the gate with his glasses.

He strode out into the park, small human in tow.

 **Thank-you for reading. Reviews much appreciated.**


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